First Daughter

Rated 1.0 If you had a hard time accepting Michael Keaton as Batman, you’ll certainly struggle accepting him as president of the United States. First daughter Samantha Mackenzie (Katie Holmes) goes to college, and we all go to Hell with this horribly conceived fairytale in the land of politics. It’s as if Holmes woke up one day and said, “I wanna be a poor man’s Anne Hathaway!” Because it needs to be kiddy friendly, Samantha faces some pretty watered-down vices in college. Her roommate “kisses” every boy on campus, Samantha often sneaks out for pizza (Oooh!) and, most ashamedly, partakes in a massive freshman Slip ’n’ Slide into bails of hay! (I partook in a freshman Slip ’n’ Slide myself, although mine was on a frozen parking lot whilst wearing boxer shorts and being drunk on Pabst Blue Ribbon.) Nothing in this film feels genuine, while all of it feels hokey. If viewers equate this film’s first family with the one currently inhabiting the White House, this one could be more damaging come Election Day than Fahrenheit 9/11.