Fear Chertoff’s gut!
OK, so the latest N.I.E. (National Intelligence Estimate) came out a couple of weeks ago. The essence of the report—Arab boogeymen, aka Al-Qaeda, are trying to figure ways to get under your bed and hide in your closet. They want to get over here and do nasty things to your grandma and your puppy and your ‘57 T-bird. So please, make time in your life to be afraid. Fret, fret, fret. Fear, fear, fear. Boogeymen, boogeymen, boogeymen. Ooh, ooh, ooh.
That’s all you got, isn’t it, Bushco? That’s all your miserable, skulking, embarrassment of an administration has left in the tank, ain’t it? Fear. And the mongering of it. Which pretty much sums up what this president has been doing for the last five years. That’s his specialty. Cooking up fear burgers on the White House grill, and saying, “Here you go, America. Have a nice big bite.”
Am I overlooking the threat of Al-Qaeda? Am I being dangerously complacent about the seriousness of the possibility that Al-Qaeda may one day try to again kick us in the teeth? Hell, no! Not at all. But I also accept the fact that we are generally capable of defending ourselves. I accept the reality that, when it comes to playing hardball, well, we’re not exactly rookies in that arena. Which country has military bases all around the globe? Which country has a defense budget that is more than all other national defense budgets COMBINED? Which country is now seriously poised to establish a military presence in outer space? I mean, goddammit, we are the king badasses on this rock and that’s not really a secret anymore. SO QUIT TRYING TO MAKE ME SCARED TO DEATH OF A BUNCH OF BLOODTHIRSTY CAVE DWELLERS!
Fear mongering has, of course, served this president very well. I look back on America five years ago, when Bush, Darth and crew were just beginning to hit their stride on the Fear Circuit, and I have to marvel. They pulled it off. They actually made us fear Iraq!
And we bought it. We swallowed the whole fuckin’ fear burger, with the help of a strangely cowed and nutless media (and Michael Moore was completely justified in his recent roasting of Wolf Blitzer on CNN and yes, I was one of those in the media who was cowed and nutless).
Well, sorry Mr. President, but I do believe I’ll pass on your latest scare job. And the same goes for Darth and Karl and Condi and Chertoff with his growling gutload of feargas. Buzz off. Get a new routine. ‘Cause this one is friggin’ OLD.
And America staggers along the road to 1-21-09.