Fast Five

Rated 2.0

Look … this is definitely the best in the series since the fun first one. I just can’t stand the characters Vin Diesel and Paul Walker play in this series, and I’m getting tired of looking at them. Director Justin Lin comes up with a couple of great sequences, the best being a train chase that ends with Diesel and Walker taking a long drop off a bridge. The scene is a stunner, but you see most of it in the trailers, and there’s an entire movie surrounding it. The story is a dud, and when your film is two hours plus long, yes, the story matters, even if you are a brain-dead action pic. I didn’t hate this one. I actually almost liked it. Now get Diesel and Walker out of there, make the story about Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, a newcomer to the series, and we’ll all have better times. Oh, Jordana Brewster, you are way too skinny. Looking a little like Maria Shriver these days. Eat something please. Banana split time.