In this country, we are now firmly entrenched in the bad habit of picking wars with extremely difficult foes. The War on Poverty was pretty optimistic, when you think about it. The War on Drugs is proving to be about as winnable as the War on Sadness. War on Terror? Right. Might as well start a war with Evil while you’re at it. But the War on Methamphetamine, well, maybe this one is actually do-able. Maybe. I hope so. Because it’s really tough to find an upside to this particular scourge. I went online to check the ingredient list for crystal meth, and I must say it appears it will be some time before anyone talks about “organic” crank. Some of the chemicals commonly added to the recipe for various reasons include Red Devil lye, drain cleaner, paint thinner and muriatic acid. Now, I’ve used muriatic acid before … to get the grease spots out of my driveway. I remember the warning on the bottle—DON’T EVEN THINK OF USING THIS SHIT WITHOUT A REAL GOOD PAIR OF GLOVES, SUCKA!!! Never once while using this cement bleacher did I think it might be interesting to get some of it in my brain to see what would happen. Call me an old fuddy-duddy, if you must.
Granted, these industrial-strength chemicals are not essential to your basic batch o’ crank. I’m guessing the amounts of various driveway cleaners, rust rippers and plumbing de-cloggers used would depend on the high moral fiber of the refined Stanford grads who are actually brewing the next batch in their spotlessly gleaming, double-wide manufactured villa. I’m sure there are loads and loads of crank-cookers out there who have, at the top of their list of concerns, the overall health and well-being of their customers, a concern that translates into an ethic that dictates only the finest battery boilers are to be used in the manufacture of their product.
Let me put it another way: Any drug that gets you thinkin’ that you really don’t have to remove the film, residue and flotsam of last night’s pizza from your teeth for at least another week, well, that drug is fundamentally sociopathic and should be avoided by all those who don’t have the latent desire to lepercize themselves from society. As if any tweaked-out individual is actually going to eat some pizza. Which leads me to try to do something positive here in my humble little space. I want to ask one of you, just one, to stop using this shit. You know now what it’s all about. You know it’s a fast track to a bad place and a hard landing. You KNOW it. It’s time to get off this screaming bullet train before it’s too late.
Now is as good a time as any. It’s time to get some sleep. Remember sleep? Sleep is good. Sleep is fabulous, to tell the truth. Stop being a meth mess. If you need help, get help. Now. Please?