Drugs, guns and sports
It’s just all very curious. About marijuana, that is. I mean, here we have a Schedule One drug—Schedule One, I tell you!—and two states in our stony union just legalized its use?
For comparisons, check out some of these well-known and still popular Schedule Two drugs (meaning these are technically less mean, nasty, and your-brain-in-hot-skillet than Schedule Ones). Morphine is a Two, so is coke, then you got your Team Codone (Hydro and Oxy), and then there’s meth. Meth! The great scourge of modern America! A schedule Two dope, while big bad reefer remains solidly entrenched in the DEA Superbad List, along with heroin, LSD and mushrooms.
So whatever it is they still continue to smoke over there at DEA World HQ … shit, I bet it’s a Schedule One!
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Back in ’96, some evil ding dong in Britain snapped and did the same thing that Adam Lanza just did. He went to a school with two handguns (not assault weapons), hijacked a classroom of kids, took them to the gym, and shot them dead. Sixteen kids plus the teacher and, of course, himself.
So you know what those crazy Brits did? They passed the 1997 Firearms Act, which, for all intents and purposes, banned handguns forevermore in the United Kingdom. In fact, the ban was comprehensive to the point where now, their athletes competing in Olympic shooting events have to leave the country to train, meaning they have to go to the Isle of Man and places like that.
I only bring this up because, well, can you imagine us doing anything like this? I mean, it’s utterly unthinkable that anyone in any kind of position of power would float such a notion even in the steam room of the U.S. Senate Fitness Center, much less during a jawjack on Meet the Press or The Situation Room. Hell, we’re in a zone where we would consider it a major triumph for civility if we banned 50-round ammo clips. By the way, in 2010, there were 8,775 gun murders in the U.S. and 58 in the U.K.
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Time for a Neon Babylon shout- out to a guy who we pretty much take for granted because he’s a local who’s been here for decades. But in the grand scheme of things, Coach Ault really has had a helluva career here. In terms of all-time winningest college coaches, he’s got a tidy little record of 233-109, which puts him ahead of Jim Tressel and Steve Spurrier, and just behind Woody Hayes and Lou Holtz. Sure, about 30 of Ault’s wins came by playing New Mexico State every year, but hell, all the great ones have their favorite cupcakes to chomp on annually. And don’t be shocked if in the next five years, Ault’s Pistol offense becomes what Walsh’s West Coast offense has been. That is to say, possibly the next big thing in football strategy. Especially with guys like RG3, Russell Wilson and our own CK7 emerging as stars.
