Drivers need to keep an eye out for bikers because they’re a growth industry

Not a surprise, really, to see more and more people out there getting around in something other than a car, truck or van. More bikes, more mopeds, more scooters, and more motorcycles, for example. (Are manufacturers of locking gas caps now expecting an uptick in business? How about siphon sales?)

The point being that more and more of us are gonna do what we can to use alternative methods, however occasional they may be, in getting around our bustling little towns. More and more of us trying, in our own little tiny ways, to beat Them Nad-squeezin’ Oil Companies and Their Dadblamed Gasoline. As one who frequently drives around, I know that, on occasion, when one encounters those who might be driving a “lesser” vehicle, one can get a little annoyed, for whatever reason. Probably just part of the whole imperial attitude that one unconsciously slips into while driving a car. After all, when you get into your car, especially when you’re by yourself, you somehow morph into the Lord of The Highway, and who told all these other foons that they were welcome to use my road, anyway?

So it will seem a bit of a bother, maybe even a slight pain in the ass, to accommodate a particular human on a bike or a scooter who is forcing you, just by his mere presence, to interrupt your fabulously erotic daydream and make some sort of adjustment. Sure, it would be great to squish him like the bug that he is, especially since he’s probably toodling about feeling all superior because he’s saving money using his transportational alternative, and maybe even, in the case of a bicyclist, getting healthy to boot. That’s REALLY irritating, to encounter some smug bastard who’s out there saving both his money AND his heart.

But, in the end, you, still being at least somewhat reasonable and having a ways to go yet before you completely snap and go berserk from the 74 stresses that relentlessly pound upon you every day (no wonder sales of margarita mix are way up), you ultimately give him some space. After all, it would just be such a bleeping hassle to have to deal with the cops and the insurance companies and the doctors just because you gave the two-wheeled cretin that little nudge he so richly deserves, that little nudge to remind him who the hell is boss out here. That little nudge that results in him falling off the scooter and cracking his cheekbone on the curb, just below the line of that dweeby helmet. Nope. Big hassle. So you lighten up and share the road, like the fine, cooperative citizen you are. Or, at least, pretend to be.

So yes. It seems safe to predict—you’re gonna have to deal with more and more alternative motators on the road. It’s gonna get interesting out there. Be ready. Take a deep breath. Be kind. Be cool. And make tonight’s margarita in the TALL tumbler.