Devil and deep blue sea

It turns out that South Korea is actually quite a nice, happening country. For starters, let’s note that South Korea had a 30 year span from about ’60 through ’90 where its economy grew at an annual rate of 10 percent, a stat that now sounds unreal and absurd. This hyper-economic phase is called the Miracle on the Han River.

Today, SK is the world’s 15th largest economy and the only G20 nation trading with China, the U.S. and the EU simultaneously. Its revised constitution guarantees a liberal democracy and universal health care. Yes, universal fucking health care and, indeed, the SK health care system is rated the fourth most efficient in the world. As a result, the country ranks highly in personal safety, life expectancy and job security. It’s home to the UN Green Climate Fund and is the world’s third least ignorant country as ranked by the Index of Ignorance. (No surprise at all to see the U.S. rank 37th.) Twelve years ago, SK committed to a national high-speed internet grid, and today it has nothing less than the world’s fastest internet speed and highest rate of smartphone ownership on the planet.

In other words, it’s a lovely, civilized, progressive, happy country, and not really little, with its population of 51 million that includes nine cities of a million or more, capped, of course, by Seoul, which has at least 20 million people living in its metro zone. So let’s pause and ponder as to how much they’re enjoying being in the middle of this ridiculous pissing match between Dum Dum Beavis and Kim Jong Butthead.

I’m betting many, many, many, many South Koreans are currently and passionately hating both of these blustery jerkoff manmutants. And really hating the reality that they are the ones caught in the crossfire of morons.

But North Korea doesn’t care. Because it ain’t gonna nuke anybody. Not a chance. It just can’t do it. NK can’t even hit Guam, much less Portland. You know what? It has a better plan. While it keeps waving this nuclear bugaboo at us in its right hand, NK already has its real threat in place in its left. And that would be its hackers.

Yep. Its hackers. If you can wreak havoc on the computer networks of America, you can do some serious damage to our economy and our lifestyle. Make no mistake, NK has a bunch of talented and skilled and badass hackers. And with Dum Dum leading the way, we are rumblin’, bumblin’ and stumblin’ into what may be a very nasty surprise.