Corrupt ammosexual Throneheads
Steve Schmidt is that rarest of Republican talking heads, in that he’s actually somewhat sane on many key issues. (He was McCain’s campaign manager in ’08.) And his scorn for Dum Dum is like yours—so palpable you can chew on it, like a big wad of toxic, political tobacco.
He recently spoke loudly and clearly on the rampant and brazen graft and widespread corruption exhibited throughout the entire Duministration. Schmidt opined, “This season of corruption that we’re in the middle of is real. It’s not normal. It’s completely unprecedented … and it’s getting worse.”
So, yes, this column is like a fresh Post-it note on yer fridge, because you just don’t “see” the old one any more. And this new Post-it says, “These guys are fuckin’ crooks.” That’s it. They’re fucking crooks. Pure and simple. Think of Gates. Of Manafort. Flynn. Jared. JARED! Stone cold crooks, and incredibly prolific liars to boot. (Biggest liar of them all? Not Trump. Putin!) We can’t get comfortable with the level of graft that’s now on display. As Schmidt just said, “It’s not normal.”
OK, for the Throneheads out there in Babylon, let’s have some laffs with Dum Dum in Westeros. There have been a lot of rulers on Thrones, running the royal gamut from kings to princes to scoundrels to tyrants. My question—which ruler of Westeros is most Trump-ish? There are many to consider. No, not Ramsey. That freak was a special breed of twisted, and, like Joffrey, was at heart a true sadist, one who got off on his mean streak
Of course, Trump’s not even close to Ned or Mance Rayder, or even Stannis. Tywin isn’t a bad call, since they share some qualities of prickitude. And we can’t forget the obvious parallels with the unseen but still influential Mad King. But I’m picking Walder Frey, who was a fiend, an old fart, and a greedy lecher with two incompetent sons as lieutanants. And there ya go!
The two best words seen here in Neon Babylon in the last three months are ammosexual and sadopopulism. I stole both, and I wanna get some extra mileage from them. Ammosexual being a nifty, smart aleck new way to label some jerk a “gun nut,” and sadopopulism being a political approach that inflicts mostly pain upon its constituents, as witnessed by just about everything these fucking pirates do. And now, “President” Spanky has a hard-on for Jeff Bezos. Isn’t that just precious? Your appropriate response? Buy Russian Roulette via Amazon, and then an online subscription to the Washington Post.