Community of Earthlings
So a Brit hottie named M.I.A. flips off an enormous Super Bowl audience? Instant knee jerk reaction—well, right back at ya, ya little strumpet. And feel free to kiss my ass, too. Second, deeper reaction, after a minute of reflection—if the girl was flipping off a worldwide audience of football freaks in the spirit of “this is what I, a Citizen of A More Loving and More Caring Community of Earthlings, think of your silly, brutish game of torn ligaments and concussions, you neanderthal slobs,” well, then good for you and well done. And congratulations for having the ovaries to take advantage of the gigantic stage upon which you found yourself.
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Movie notes—if they give the Oscar for best performance by a sullen mumbler, then by all means, give it to Rooney Mara. Jeez, what a crab. As for The Descendants, that’s a decent flick. But in the end, it’s all about a bunch of people getting hysterical over an affair. Jesus, get over it. People occasionally get a case of the hots. Sometimes they actually scratch those sexy little itches. What’s with all the freakin’ drama? The Descendants was almost as good as my fave flick of ’11, The Big Year. But then again, I like birds.
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So Mitt tramples Newt, Gramps, and Rumpleak here in Nevada, and is looking more and more like The Guy. OK, Republicans, so be it, but. You’re totally ready to fire up the torches and pitch a major hissy at the incumbent, in large part because of the new communist health care tyranny that was stuffed up your tailpipe by evil Democrats. So you’re going to nominate for president—the dude who was the first guy to ever sign into law a tyrannical communist health care system? Let me rev up the ghost of good ole Arte Johnson and say “veeeeerrrrryyyyy interesting.” (Arte J is a reference for geezer readers who will dare to admit they remember Laugh-In.)
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One thing that is so out of touch with reality that it’s now fair to call it completely delusional is the crutch that politicians still have, and Romney is easily the worst offender, about “uniting the country.” And here, I have to quote the great Matt Taibbi, who wrote in the Feb. 16 Rolling Stone, “All politicians engage in public fakery to some degreee, but Romney's plastic-man act is so forced and grotesque, it's actually painful to watch.”
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You kidding me? You're going to unite the country? Funny how fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing. When I hear someone crowing about uniting the country, I get this image of Rush Limbaugh and Dave Chappelle having a beer and some wings. Don't worry about “uniting” us, politicians. We're just fine in our cozy little cliques out here. You want to unite something, start with Congress and its single-digit approval rating.
