Cold Creek Manor

Rated 1.0 A New York City family decides that urban life is too scary, so they move to the country and buy a spooky house with spooky neighbors and spooky critters slithering about in the backyard. After they move into their nightmare of a home, the former owner (Stephen Dorff) drops by and pulls a Max Cady of Cape Fear impersonation, terrorizing the children and depositing dead horses in their swimming pool. Dennis Quaid and Sharon Stone are left to drift in a screenplay that insists upon making its characters appear unabashedly moronic, and Juliette Lewis is on hand to do her trailer trash routine. Director Mike Figgis seems determined to rid his film of mystery and suspense, offering nothing in the realm of surprise and ripping off the final act of The Ring. The only things truly horrifying in this film are the sights and sounds of a bedridden Christopher Plummer scarfing down a bunch of chocolate covered cherries. That was my favorite candy before his graphic mastication display.