Carrey it on

In case you missed it, Jim Carrey recently came out with a statement concerning his reaction to the Fox News reaction to his new anti-gun-kook video, called Cold Dead Hand. Fox news commentators went all nutso on Carrey for the video, especially Greg Gutfeld, who called Carrey a “pathetic, sad, little freak” and hoped that the comedian's “career is dead” and that he ends up “sleeping in his car.”

Well, Gutfeld and Fox found out that Carrey isn't the type to ignore such diatribes, and Jim shot back with a statement that I suspect taps into many of our attitudes about the fourth network. Here are the best bile blasts from an obviously irritated comedian:

“Since I released my Cold Dead Hand video on Funny or Die this week, I have watched Fux News rant, rave, bare its fangs, and viciously slander me because of my stand against large magazines and assault rifles. … I'll just say this: In my opinion, Fux News is a last resort for kinda-sorta-almost-journalists … a media colostomy bag that has begun to burst at the seams and should be emptied before it becomes a public health issue. … I sincerely believe that in time … Fux News will be remembered as nothing more than a giant culture fart that no amount of Garlique could cure.”

Which pretty much sums it up.

And just to remind all you gun-loving folks out there, who seem to fret sweatily on a regular basis—us lefties, pinkos, socialists, hippies, pagans, infidels, tribalists, perverts, wastrels, ne'er do wells and incense burners out here that comprise the newly formed Obamystic Oddfellows Society—we really, honestly, truly aren't coming to take your goddamn guns. OK? Seriously. We're just not.

At least, not anytime soon.

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Over the years, This Column has dared to suggest various locations that would make for superb state parks. This is assuming that one day, Nevada will emerge from its financial desperation enough to be able to actually consider adding new state parks to the roster. Hey, you know, it could happen. What the heck. Past Neon Babylon nominees have included the Fly Geyser area, 20 miles outside of Gerlach, and uh … well … uh … yeah, some others, too. I think.

Anyway, my latest nominee is for New Nevada State Park is the grand area of Joshua trees that one finds on the Extraterrestrial Highway about 15 miles south of the freaky town of Rachel. It's simply a wonderful place if you like these giant yuccas, which I do. A lot. It would make a killer state park, and give travelers on 375 an overnight option besides that freaky collection of Alien doublewides in Rachel.