Bullet points

Warning—this column has been rated NSFT: Not Safe For Trumplodytes.

• Trump’s first 100? Easily summarized—Gross incompetence frosted with rank amateurism. A constant embarrassment for a once proud nation that’s quickly becoming a dangerous laughingstock because its president is a lying, thieving, ultra-maroon who brazenly flaunts his utter disdain for the emoluments clause of the Constitution on a daily basis. He does so only with the snivelling, simpering complicity of the now completely detestable Rethuglican Party.

• Here’s a good quote from President Dum Dum, one that spewed out of his cakehole exactly 14 times on the campaign trail this past autumn—“Anyone being investigated by the FBI is not qualified to be the President of the United States.” Finally! A statement from Trump that we can all agree with!

• There have been further developments in The Big Story. The Guardian reports that the same notorious British intelligence dossier that dared to mention Twitler’s golden shower in Moscow also contains the following. “The December memo alleged that four Trump representatives travelled to Prague in August or September in 2016 for ‘secret discussions with Kremlin representatives and associated operators/hackers,’ about HOW TO PAY HACKERS SECRETLY for penetrating Democratic party computer systems and ‘contingency plans for covering up operations.’

“Between March and September 2016, the December memo alleges, the hackers used botnets and porn traffic to transmit viruses, plant bugs and steal data online from Democratic party leadership. The hackers were paid by the Trump organization, but were under the control of Vladimir Putin’s administration.”

You don’t say. We’re getting very, very close to The Jackpot.

Again, don’t get sidetracked by the shiny objects that Dum Dum and his minions cast in front of the media as part of their Daily Distraction routine. The Big Story is still that the Rethuglican Party and Team Trump knowingly enlisted the aid of a Russian cyber-attack army to invade the soft, mushy minds of millions of malleable American voters in order to install a candidate in the White House who, due to various financial and scandalous entanglements, would be far friendlier towards Russian interests than his opponent. An ingenious, modern, cyber-coup that was, shockingly, far more successful than its creators had dared to hope.