Bruce writes in defense of Mr. Kaepernick.
So, yes, the so called “Big Game” (and if you wonder why everybody in the damned country makes all these lame-ass references to the “Big Game,” it's because the NFL [No Fun League] made it clear a few years ago that it owns the copyright, trademark and genetic DNA to the words “super” and “bowl” when used in combination and if anydamnedbody dares to use those two words together in reference to their ultra precious “Big Game,” well, you better have a right smart city slicker lawyer 'cuz you gonna get yo' ass sued and sued fast!)—Donks 33, Seahags 20.
Now let's talk about Kap. Yes, I realize I'm preaching to a pretty solid choir here, but realize also that I'm writing about Mr. Kaepernick mainly in response to a solid core of infuriating 49er fans who regularly rag on our local hero in the San Francisco Fish Wrap and this never-ending crabbing has me just real fed up. So in defense of the Turlock Terrific …
Technically, Our Boy Kap (OBK) has been a Niner for three years, but he's only really played, as in started, for a year and a half. In that extremely brief time, OBK has won four playoff games. Four! That's pretty darned good. In fact, those four wins are more than the combined playoff victories of Tony Romo, Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin, Matt Ryan, Carson Palmer, Cam Newton and Alex Smith. Can you dig it?
I've been waiting for someone to acknowledge what Kap did in this year's 23-20 playoff win over Green Bay, and I haven't seen it. So I'll say it. He led the Niners to the game winning field goal in super tense clutch time, and he did it perfectly. Not one quarterback in NFL history, not Elway, Montana or Unitas, could have done it any better than OBK. And that's just the truth. The Niners got the ball, you'll recall, with 5 minutes left in that contest. At that point, a great QB doesn't just go out there and score as fast as he can. That's the strategy of an excitable dope. At that point, what a cool cat badass pro wants to do is score on THE LAST PLAY OF THE FREAKIN' GAME. That's exactly what OBK did in Green Bay. And he didn't just lead the Niners on a clock-eating, Packer-killer drive, he also got his guys down to the Packers 14 yard line, setting up kicker Phil Dawson with a no-brainer chip shot of a 32-yard field goal. You think Dawson didn't appreciate kicking a 32-yarder instead of, say, a 47 yarder? In that stadium, in that game, where the temperature was about 90 below, where kicking a football was just a shade more appealing than kicking a dadgum cinder block?
It's my contention that crabby Niner fans are giving Kap the business for one reason and one reason only—ink. That's it. OBK has a lotta ink. And he wears a flat bill cap off to the side. Oh gee oh gee, he's such a, he's such a thug! He's so classless next to St. Joe and St. Steve. Well, too bad, asswipe chardonnay sucking Niner fans. You're stuck with him. Those tats and the hats ain't comin' off. Deal with it. Get over it. Start appreciatin' what you got. And admit it—you sure as hell don't want the Niners to trade OBK to the freakin' Rams!