Bring it on

My first and primary question concerning the political campaign of 2006 up to this point would have to be, why aren’t the Democrats out there pounding away at the Republican groin with a ball peen hammer? In other words, why aren’t the Demos following the golden rule of politics, which is “do unto others just like they done did unto you.”

Maybe they are doing at least a little groin-pounding. I may just be missing those messages. But then again, I watch a little tube, listen to a bit of radio and read a few magazines and newspapers. And the impression I have of the first few weeks of this year’s campaign, using Labor Day as a starting point, is that the Democrats, as usual, are pounding the Republican mid-section not with the appropriate lead pipe, but with a comfy pillow. If we’ve seen anything over the past 10 years, it’s that the modern American electorate responds to polite, reserved campaigns in the same way that Paris Hilton responds to bear-hunting vacations.

Case in point: Dina Titus. I’ve seen some of her ads on local news programs. She’s certainly not afraid to “go negative” on Jim Gibbons, and he is obviously willing to do the same to her. In fact, most of the spots I’ve seen are your basic “negatives,” where the candidate spends the entire allotted time talking about what a jagoff his or her opponent is. OK, that’s the way it is, for various cultural reasons, and I’m not going to moan about it. But, goddammit, Dina, if you’re gonna smash Jim in the nuts, smash him in the nuts! Which is to say pull out that classic blast he unleashed last year in Elko about the tie-dyed liberal Birkenstock wimps, and drag him over the coals with it. I mean, how can you let a juicy rib-eye like that one just lay there on the shelf? I can only hope that I’m jumping the gun here, and that Dina and her ad agency already have that one in the can and are waiting until mid-October to “bring it on.”

As for the Democrats nationally, I would hope they aren’t being complacent right about now. Complacency spells doom in this country, and I don’t care how good the polls are. The Democratic National Committee should have already produced some simple TV spots that say “Hey America. Do you think you’ve been governed competently in the last six years? Do you think the war was a good move? Do you think it’s gone well? Do you think it’s been conducted intelligently and efficiently? Do you think the administration responded impressively to Katrina? Do you think, in short, that we’ve been governed well since President Bush took office? If you’ve answered no to any of the above questions, well, don’t you think it’s time to vote for our guys?” In other words, pound the Republican groin with the “I-word,” and that word is not “Iraq.” It’s “Incompetent.”