Booze food

In the delicious, dizzying stupor of late-night intoxication, few things are clear. How loud you’re talking, how many beers you’ve had and whether or not the guy you’ve been flirting with for the last hour is in fact cute—or someone you’d shrink from in the sober light of day—can all become fuzzy really fast. But one thing that always strikes me with pungent, knife-edged clarity is hunger.

Hunger for greasy, greasy food.

There’s this whole theory of calorie consumption that has been circulating for some time among my female friends. Its basic premise goes something like this: Calories consumed on your birthday don’t count. Calories consumed on someone else’s birthday don’t count. Calories consumed while operating a motor vehicle don’t count. And most of all, calories consumed while under the influence don’t count.

Nor when you’re hung over.

Which is why I tend to make a run for the most luscious, dense, artery-clogging foods in the Great Basin when I’m lit, even though I attempt health-conscious eating most of the time.

I asked a few friends about their favorite foods for post-drinking consumption. I found that favorites include pizza, fries and anything from Jimboy’s. Everyone’s favorite hangover helper food seems to be eggs: scrambled eggs, eggs with Parmesan cheese and salsa, eggs with toast, eggs in an omelet. (I have one friend whose hangover “cure” involves getting into the shower with a couple bottles of Budweiser, slamming them down and then eating eggs.)

So here’s a short list of carb-rich foods to sop up all that booze.

5. Pizza at Pub and Sub, 1000 Ralston St., 322-8540. Gourmet-quality pizza in a gloriously homey college dive bar setting. This stuff rocks. Prices range from $5.95 to $19.95

4. Chicken wings at Foley’s Irish Pub, 2780 S. Virginia St., 829-8500. Not only are these some of the tastiest wings in town, but Foley’s—if it’s not a Friday night—is a wonderfully mellow place to unwind after a raucous night. A dozen wings are $4 during happy hour (2 p.m.-6 p.m.; 11 p.m.-close).

3. French toast at Carrows, 605 N. Wells Ave., 786-1027; 880 E. Plumb Lane, 829-8041. No one I talked to agrees with me on this, but I’ve found that French toast is an unbeatable alcohol sponge, especially if it’s submerged in a pond of syrup. Carrows French toast is cheaper than Denny’s ($4.89 as compared to $5.89 at Denny’s, although the latter does automatically come with pork products).

2. Tie: The Little Nugget Diner’s unbelievably cheap and crazily huge Awful-Awful hamburger with fries ($3.50) and the Little Nugget Diner’s Hangover Omelet ($5.95), made with chili, cheese and salsa and served with a Bloody Mary.

1. Quesadillas at Jimboy’s Tacos, various locations. In my informal survey, Jimboy’s quesadillas came out at the top of almost everyone’s booze food list. I like the cheese ones best—they’re so simple, but so greasily good. $1.28 for one cheese quesadilla.

Honorable mention: Go to Albertson’s/Safeway/your local mini-mart and get a fat-ass bag of Ruffles potato chips. Don’t let anyone else near your bag. The power of this is not to be underestimated.