Bits and pieces

You know, I just can’t help but notice that every time Dum Dum talks about the Mueller investigation, he screeches about No Collusion. Always with the “No Collusion.” Never do we get “No Obstruction” or “No Money Laundering,” only “No Collusion.” Fine. I’ll give President Spanky a pass right now on all collusion charges. In exchange, I’ll gladly settle for three Obstructions of Justice, 14 Money Launderings, 11 Escorts, and various Orange Violations.

Dum Dum also just loves to vent about this “witch hunt,” or, as he likes to tweet, “WITCH HUNT!!!!!” Question—are witch hunts bad? I mean, if you find the witches, that’s a good thing for all us villagers, right? And Mr. Mueller appears to be very good at this witch hunting. In 11 months, he’s located 19, and got five of them to plead guilty to various witchcrafts. So this hunt appears to actually be going rather well.

Twitler called the FBI’s move on his lawyer Mike the Fixer “an attack on our country.” Heh. That’s rich. A comedian, this guy. But you know, I bet he’s positively pissed right now he won the election. Just steamed. I can see him in his DFT pajamas, getting into his own bed (Melania’s choice) in the palatial White House master suite and saying, “Jesus, Mel, what the hell. Everything was going well. It used to be so very swell.” And Melania replies, in her low Slovenian growl, “You had to be big shit.” Don says, “No, honey, that’s shot. With an ‘O.’ A big SHOT.” And she gives him a glowering look that says, “I had it right the first time.”

Speaking of guys who are laying way, way, way down low, how about these Retrumplicans? I mean, have you heard even a peep out of any of the major vipers in the GOP, like Turtle Man or Eddie Munster? Dean “What the” Heller? You just hang out in your bomb shelters, shitheads. Hope you stocked up on plenty of chili. We’ll give you a buzz for the primaries.

What? Larry had a massive stroke? Oh shit. Larry, of course, being The Grand Poobah of Burning Man, Larry Harvey, a man who has done some unbelievable engineering and nurturing to bring about a fabulous and fascinating visionary movement that continues to grow on a planetary level. And the fact that this movement massively recharges itself every Labor Day in the freaking Black Rock Desert? What a gas! Best wishes, Larry, and hope to see ya for some fiya on da playa this year.