Battling back-to-school consumption

Notebooks for 10 cents. Folders for a nickel—but, alas, just about the time you bring home a case of 48 folders (only $2.40!), the kids give you the bad news.

“Those aren’t the right kind of folders, Mom,” they say. “We need the ones with the metal things in them for reports and stuff.”

And what are you going to do—return 48 folders to get the $2.40 back? That won’t even buy a 12-ounce latte at Mocha Joe’s. Hardly worth the rising price of gas to drive all the way back to TarCoMart.

I have five kids living at home. So I cashed a recent paycheck and gave each of my teens $100 in 20s. That’s gotta cover everything but the basic notebooks, binders, pencils and markers, I told them. Yeah, I know that Jennifer’s mom spends $1,000 per kid, buying several pairs of shoes and half a dozen new pairs of $50 jeans.

I’m not Jennifer’s mom. I’m not even average. I’m not even close to average.

Families of school-age kids will spend something like $450 on back-to-school stuff this year. That’s about $10 more than last year, says the Washington, D.C.-based National Retail Federation, which surveyed 8,835 consumers across the spend-frenzied United States.

Dan, my unemployed college dropout 20-year-old, is traveling through Oregon with his rock band, so I gave him a $100 limit on our shared Discover card. He says he picked up lots of bargain clothes in Oregon, a shopping spree made even cheaper by the lack of a state sales tax there. He bought three pairs of pants, a few shirts, socks and shoes. Starving musicians must shop smart.

Eric, 18, bought two new pairs of Dickies. He has two jobs and can afford (not really) to do stuff like spend $150 on a tuxedo for a friend’s wedding.

Tabitha, 16, spent $30 on a kit to turn her long, silky brown hair into fat, gnarly dreadlocks. Then her friends spent two days waxing, rolling and backcombing. She also bought a shirt and plans a trip to a few thrift shops in the near future. She has her eyes on my most recent mail order purchase, a black T-shirt with red lettering ($18 at gwbush.com): “Bush is Sauron. Save the Shire.”

Stephanie, 14, bought three pairs of pants, two shirts and a cool pair of retro tennis shoes for $80. She tried to give me $20 back. I told her she might need socks.

Jesse, 13, bought a pair of pants, two pairs of shorts, one shirt and a new back-pack.

“I just need a cheap backpack,” he told me. “A Jansport.”

“No such thing as a cheap Jansport,” I said.

The dinkiest Jansport backpack—30 percent off even—was $25.

Jesse spent most of his money in 15 minutes. He has a few bucks left, and we’re planning to use that to buy some T-shirts and transfers for our inkjet printer. This weekend, we’ll crank out our own shirts with clever sayings, like the shirts that cost $18 at Hot Topic. We were wondering if he’d get kicked out of middle school for wearing a shirt that said: “The principal is Sauron. Save the Shire.”

Wait, we like the principal. Maybe the science teacher?

As for me, I beat the whole shopping gang by heading out to the fine Hidden Valley yard sales last weekend. I bought five pairs of practically new tan and black slacks (my size!) for 50 cents each. I bought two pairs of barely worn leather shoes (my size!) for $4.

I bought a multi-pack of socks at TarCoMart for $3.99.

I’m almost set. Think I’ll trip to Savers with Dreadlock girl.