Bad Teacher

Cameron Diaz stars as the title character, a miserable human being who somehow manages to get a job teaching kids. When her rich boyfriend kicks her out of the house, she commences searching for another man to pay her bills. Her big plan involves getting big breast implants to lure a slobbering rich male, so she starts stealing money from children and their parents to save for her new tits. Director Jake Kasdan wants this to be vile and funny, but it’s just vile. And when one thinks “funny,” Diaz isn’t one of the first actresses to come to mind. She’s actually quite dull, as are—surprisingly—Justin Timberlake and Jason Segel in supporting roles. John Michael Higgins gets a couple of chuckles as a dolphin-loving principal, while Lucy Punch steals scenes as Diaz’s teacher nemesis. In fact, the movie should’ve been about Punch’s weirdo teacher, with Diaz in a supporting role. No more comedies with Diaz headlining, please.