Back to the future

Welcome to this week’s Reno News & Review.

As I write this, it’s after 9 a.m. on Monday. By the time this paper is out, the United States will have voted. At this point, I’m only about 50-50 that we’ll know who the president will be come next January.

I’m like that little girl Abby Evans who cried out of election fatigue. I’m tired of Bronco Bama and Mitt Rameny, too, Abby. But as tired as I am, I won’t have the luxury of turning my back on the media until this one’s tallied. I mean, one thing I’ve realized from all the differing polls is this one is within the margin of lawsuit.

It doesn’t help any that despite my fatigue, I’m still obsessed. Kind of reminds me of a tweeker sucking on a glass cock: Three days without sleep, but there’s no stopping.

I wonder what Future Brian will think about all this in 72 hours. Could be that something happens that will change me profoundly. Maybe not. Somehow I’ve managed to get dragged behind various pickup trucks to come out looking like I’ve been riding in Cadillacs.

One thought I had this weekend is that maybe this will be the one that finally opens Congress’ eyes that it’s time to work together. This sort of partisanship has happened before in our history, and it breaks the system, until the system finds a new balance—sort of like a three-legged dog.

I have my hopes. No matter who wins, I hope Gary Johnson reaches 5 percent of the vote. In fact, if he had just said the words, “I’m going to keep the parts of Obamacare that support the general welfare and work to repeal the parts that don’t,” I’d have voted for the guy. But he didn’t.

It’s sort of like Ryan Lochte vs. Michael Phelps in the Olympics. Sure, most everyone had a preference, but in the end, they’re Team America. (And yes, it’s my joke, I get it.) People who think their personal preferences are more important than the will of the people should go to a country that more closely mirrors their own opinion.