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Welcome to this week’s Reno News & Review.

I wish you could see me now.

I’ve been flat on the floor for two days now. My dog, Alice, is sitting on the couch, as you might expect.

It’s a bit of a story that began when I decided Hunter and I should take karate. Although it was the most exercise I’ve done recently, I didn’t really feel like I was overdoing it. But then, I’m kind of stupid where those things are concerned.

At any rate, I think whatever happened actually happened on Friday, when I sat at a desk all day and didn’t move around in the evening. Same with Saturday. I just kind of stiffened up, and the next thing you know, Saturday evening, I was laying on my newly steam-cleaned floor, screaming like a wounded ape. The best that I can describe it is an electric shock on my spine between my hip bones. Humiliating. Excruciating. It felt exactly as though someone had put two pipe wrenches on my spine and was twisting them in opposite directions.

Believe it or not, I then went to a dinner party.

Sunday morning, as I tried to get out of bed, the “episodes” were hitting regularly. When I made it downstairs to try to put on my shoes, I got stuck on a chair. “Honey,” I called cheerfully, not wanting to freak out Hunter, “I think we’d better call an ambulance.” Paramedics came, and by the time they were gone, my spasm had stopped, and they didn’t even charge me for the trip.

It was actually a pretty pleasant visit to Washoe County Urgent Care. I got Zanaflex and naprosyn. I was feeling so good that I told my honey I’d walk the mile home from the pharmacist. A good Samaritan saw me spasming on the stoplight post on McCarran Boulevard and gave me a lift home where I made my way to my spot on the floor next to the coffeetable.

Never let it be said that I’m unwilling to instruct with my own bad example: Next time you start a new exercise program, take it easy at first. And when you get hurt, don’t try to convince yourself the pain is all in your mind.