Woody Allen tries to show he’s one hip bastard by casting young Jason Biggs and Christina Ricci in his latest romance, his apparent attempt to make a statement on young love in the new millennium. According to Woody, love in 2003 is very similar to love in 1977, circa Annie Hall
, except it’s a lot less funny. Allen presents us with two typical lovers in their twenties, all hopped up on classic vinyl Billie Holiday records and Humphrey Bogart films. Commercials for the film lead one to believe that Allen doesn’t star, but he does, as he mentors Biggs in the ways of love, weaponry and, of course, the conspiracy against the Jews. All the males in this movie, including Biggs, Danny DeVito and Jimmy Fallon, do their best Woody, complete with affable stammer and frustrating hand gestures. Allen’s films are getting progressively worse, and he should be ashamed of himself for the misogynistic piece of shit role he has written for Ricci. She’s a good actress, but her character is the sort of castrating female that exists only in Allen’s messed up, disillusioned brain. The man has gone insane.