And the winner is …

Bob Grimm offers his version of the Grammy Awards: The Grimmys

Best Actor:
Joaquin Phoenix (Walk the Line)

Runner-Ups: Philip Seymour Hoffman (Capote), Heath Ledger (Brokeback Mountain), Bruno Ganz (Downfall), Eric Bana (Munich), Robert Downey Jr. (Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang)

Best Actress:
Reese Witherspoon (Walk the Line)

Runner-Ups: Naomi Watts (King Kong), Maria Bello (A History of Violence), Q’Orianka Kilcher (The New World), Gwyneth Paltrow (Proof), Charlize Theron (North Country)

Best Supporting Actor:
Jake Gyllenhaal (Brokeback Mountain)

Runner-Ups: Val Kilmer (Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang), Christian Bale (The New World), Scott Wilson (Junebug), George Clooney and Matt Damon (Syriana), Vince Vaughn (The Wedding Crashers and Mr. and Mrs. Smith)

Best Supporting Actress:
Michelle Monaghan (Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang)

Runner-Ups: Michelle Williams (Brokeback Mountain), Amy Adams (Junebug), Uma Thurman (The Producers), Amanda Peet (Syriana), Catherine Keener (Capote and The 40 Year Old Virgin)

Worst Actor (Overall):
Orlando Bloom (Kingdom of Heaven and Elizabethtown)

Worst Actress (Overall):
(Tie) Tara Reid (Alone in the Dark), Maggie Grace (The Fog)

Best Actor in a Bad Movie:
Peter Sarsgaard (The Dying Gaul)

Best Actress in a Bad Movie:
Uma Thurman (The Producers)

Worst Actor in a Good Movie:
Martin Freeman (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)

Worst Actress in a Good Movie:
Renee Zellweger (Cinderella Man)

Films Least Deserving of Critical Praise:
The Chronicles of Narnia, Match Point (It’s OK, but let’s calm down everybody).

Films Least Deserving of Critical Drubbing:
Stay, The Baxter

Best Use of Christopher Walken:
The Wedding Crashers

Worst Use of Christopher Walken:

Should’ve Starred Christopher Walken:
The Chronicles of Narnia (He would’ve rocked as Aslan).

Best Walken Film that Doesn’t Exist:
Christopher Walken Eats His Own Thumbs

Best Score:
Brokeback Mountain

Best Documentary:
Grizzly Man

Best Animated Movie:
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Best Movie that Wasn’t Released in 2005:

Best Documentary with Sarah Silverman in It:
The Aristocrats (Jesus is Magic a close second).

Best Actress So Beautiful It Might Cause Bias When Reviewing Her Films, and I’m Willing to Admit it:
Rachel McAdams

Most Handsome Actor in the World:
Jake Gyllenhaal (God … he’s just so cute!)

Ugliest Actor in the World:
Alec Baldwin (And he used to be such a darling!)

Gayest Lines I’ve Ever Written:
The Above Two