Alien Vs. Predator

Two movie franchises clash, and the result is staggeringly stupid. A prequel to the Alien series and a sequel to the Predator films, it doesn’t even come close to the sense of dread and terror made famous in the source material. This should’ve been an R-rated movie, yet it is a soft PG-13, making it friendly for families and sneaky 12-year-olds everywhere. An expedition is lured to an outpost in Antarctica, where the dreaded Predators await the hunt. A big mother Alien is kept in frozen stasis and jolted back into birthing service every 100 years. The humans are used for their incubatory powers, the Aliens burst from their chests, and the battle royal begins. The effects are, for the most part, piss-poor, and none of the actors distinguish themselves à la Sigourney Weaver or Schwarzenegger. Piece o’ crap!