Alexander

Awfully bad wigs and some awfully bad acting make this Oliver Stone film one of his most intolerable. Colin Farrell does little to disguise his Irish accent (Actually, he does nothing to disguise his accent) as Alexander the Great, possessor of awesome blonde locks and all-around screaming idiot. The film, which clocks in at three hours, feels like one worthless, pontificating speech after another. Angelina Jolie continues her quest to be the most unintentionally frightening actress in movie history as Alexander’s mum, a snake charmer whose eyes are bugging out all of the time. Some of the battle scenes and visuals are impressive, but far too much of this film is wasteful, horrible moviemaking. All the controversy about the depiction of Alexander’s bisexuality is bollocks. The film seems scared of itself, and veils its sexsuality.