Airplane 2016

To give you an idea of where America is at this year, please note that two of the hottest words of ’16 are “opioid” and “alt-right.” Wonderful. Jesus Christ, let’s go back to 1966, with its plague of acid and hippies. We were a lot more fun, a lot less interested in hassling people, and a lot less hung up on sports.

But I’m not all that inclined to use the term “alt-right.” That just sounds a bit suspicious to me, too neutral, too vanilla, like the hot new word some public relations firm came up with to re-brand white nationalists for an image makeover. I’m not buying it. Especially if Trump is actually gonna get into some kind of deportation mode; how freakin’ SS brown shirt is that gonna look? So no, no alt-right for me. I’m sticking with a solid old school handle that gets the job done—nazi pukes. And may Pepe the Frog become a big splotch of great blue heron poop very, very soon.

•

As of Nov. 21, Hillary has a 1.7 million vote lead, and it now appears she’s gonna win the popular vote by more than 2 mill. So again, don’t waste much time asking where it all went wrong. On a certain basic arithmetical, fundamental level, it just didn’t go all that fucking wrong!

And yes, Bernie would’ve stomped this turkey by 10 points. Sigh. Sad!

I remind you to go to National Popular Vote.com, read their stuff, dig their chili, sign their petition. Will it help? It might. At the very least, it will make you feel like you did something. This movement, as long of a shot as it may be, is a helluva lot better than trying to engineer a constitutional amendment to dump the Electoral College. Or sending out prayers for the president-elect to get a raging outbreak of scabies.

•

A timely quote from the movie Airplane, when pilot Lloyd Bridges says to himself, “Looks like I picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue.” Another good one, from the timeless H. L. Mencken—“Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people.”

•

Speaking of con jobs, I just couldn’t help but appreciate the irony. Here’s a guy who spent the last four months branding his opponent as “Crooked,” suddenly announcing that he’s forking out $25 mill to make all the fraud lawsuits surrounding his con job “university” go away. I haven’t checked, but I’m guessing such a move could be a first in American presidential politics? I mean, seriously, that’s some breathtakingly blatant bullshit.