Let’s talk about sex—and cannabis

Sex is a fraught topic. Most like it. Some even say they need it. But because of the ups and downs that come with being a human in the world, having good, consistent sex is elusive for many. There is good news, though: Cannabis can help, a lot.

To convey why cannabis and sex make perfect bedfellows, Ashley Manta, known as The CannaSexual, is an award-winning sex educator who knows best.

“Cannabis can help address the things that get in the way of pleasure, connection, intimacy, common things,” Manta told SN&R.

She speaks from personal experience, as someone who regularly uses a suite of cannabis products to enhance her personal experiences, and she also takes notes from her clients. She said that pain, for example, is one of many common factors that get in the way of having good sex. It’s tough to get into a pleasure mindset when pain occurs.

“Stress is another one. It’s a massive arousal and desire killer for most. Another is feeling disconnected from your body for whatever reason, whether it’s from past trauma or you’re just someone who’s very cerebral and have moved through the world kind of in your own head,” she said. “It’s a struggle to slow down and actually kind of be present in your own skin. And yet another reason is habituation—when things just get kind of stale in a relationship. Cannabis can help with all of this.”

I can personally attest that this is true. After emerging from a sexless marriage a couple of years ago, I used my newly-found singledom to get my sexuality back on track, but was understandably terrified to get back in the game. I found that using cannabis (even just smoking it) helped to quiet both my mind and my body and allowed me to be in the moment. It also enhanced my arousal and sensation. Suddenly, sex was not only happening for me again—it was fun, too.

Apart from anecdotal evidence, there is science behind the assertion that cannabis is ideal for use during sex. THC is a vasodilator, which widen blood vessels, allowing for greater blood flow and thus sensation. It’s also the reason people get red eyes when smoking weed.

For those looking to incorporate cannabis into their sex life, smoking flower is an easy and great way to start. I used to recommend indica-heavy strains, owing to purportedly stronger body highs, but when I mentioned this to Manta, she balked.

“I make it a point to not recommend a specific strain perfects because it’s completely subjective. I mean, it’s really good for me. It might be absolutely abysmal for you based on body chemistry, tolerance and the cannabinoid and terpenes profile of the strain that you happen to pick,” she explained.

She encourages people to experiment with different strains in small doses and suggests masturbating first to gauge the mind and body response. Because cannabis impacts short-term memory, she said it’s a good idea to write it down.

Besides flower, Manta recommends Foria’s THC and CBD oil “lubes” for those who are curious. The term is a bit of a misnomer because it’s more a sensation-enhancing oil than an actual lubricant.

I enjoy a THC-loaded oil called Night Moves from the San Francisco-based brand Quim. Made with MCT oil, cannabis oil, tea tree oil and damiana, it takes at least 30 minutes to kick in and cannot be used with latex condoms, but it sure packs a vaginal punch. The whole bottle is 50 milliliters and contains a total of 350 milligrams THC, but eight to 10 pumps should be enough for one romp in the hay.

I also like to mix concentrates and sex, though admittedly, it isn’t for cannabis newbies. The Puffco Peak, which is essentially a futuristic dab rig that self-heats and doesn’t require a blowtorch (it is also highly portable) is, hands down, the best dab tool on the market right now. The extreme head rush and body sensation one gets from dabbing kicks sex up to an unimaginable level. Sensations are felt stronger, inhibitions are lowered and, for me, deeper connection is achieved. Sometimes, my partner and I use it during sex for a mid-sesh punch up.

Edibles are another obvious choice. Like with anything else cannabis-related, users should know how their bodies react to edibles before mixing anything as emotionally and physically engaging as sex into the equation. But because edibles produce phenomenal body highs, it follows that they can enhance feeling during sex, too.

Manta also notes that she enjoys bath bombs—Kush Queen is a favorite brand of hers (and mine)—as well as suppositories (she uses Foria’s). Suppositories are particularly good for people with any kind of pain, including menstrual.

Several Sacramento budtenders at local dispensaries commented that their customers keep asking for cannabis sex products, but that they haven’t gotten around to carrying them yet.

At Kolas, however, customers looking to incorporate cannabis in the boudoir will strike gold. Over the phone, its budtender squealed, “Yes! We sure do carry them. I use one that is amazing,” she said, asking not to be named.

“I use Velvet Swing’s Cannabis Sensual Lubricant. I dabbled in it myself so I could be able to recommend it to customers or not,” she said.

She added that, like many cannabis sex oils, Velvet Swing’s has 100mg THC, 33mg CBD and is water-based. It’s also geared toward women since vaginas have mucous membranes and penises do not. But she also noted that she believes it does make men last longer.

“I use a few pumps and wait for it to kick in, about 20 or so minutes. Then it starts feeling tingly down there,” she said, giggling.

I felt the same way when I used cannabis “lubes” and mixed cannabis and sex for the first time. With a little education (and a few experiments in the bedroom) I’m hoping others can have the same revelation, too.