They said what?

You probably weren’t following every Twitter post from Proposition 8 trial junkies. But there were more than a few noteworthy exchanges during the initial Perry v. Schwarzenegger case before Judge Vaughn Walker. Here are SN&R’s strangest trial statements, on the record, from the transcripts:

The purpose of marriage, part one

Prop. 8 defendants’ attorney Charles Cooper: And the purpose of the institution of marriage, the central purpose, is to promote procreation and to channel narrowly procreative sexual activity between men and women into stable enduring unions …

Judge Walker: Is that the only purpose of marriage?

Cooper: Your honor, it is the central and, we would submit, defining purpose of marriage.

The purpose of marriage, part two

Cooper, in closing statements: I really think the state’s main concern … in regulating marriage … is to minimize what I would call irresponsible procreation.

I read it on the Internet

Attorney David Boies: Now, do you believe that homosexuals are 12 times more likely to molest children? Do you believe that?

Prop. 8 proponent Dr. William Hak-Shing Tam: Yeah, based on the different literature that I’ve read.

Boies: Oh. And what literature have you read, sir, that says that?

Tam: Um, I’ve read what is posted here. [He referred to his own website.]

Gays have taken over the S.F. government

Boies: And you say: “The San Francisco city government is under the rule of homosexuals.” Do you see that?

Tam: Yes.

Boies: Did you believe that, sir?

Tam: Yes, I believed that.

If you don’t have approval, it’s just a hookup

Prop. 8 expert witness David Blankenhorn, founder and president of the Institute for American Values: Marriage is a socially approved sexual relationship between a man and a woman.

Whose side is this guy on?

Prop. 8 witness Blankenhorn testifies for the marriage-equality side when answering Boies under cross-examination: My answer to your question is that I believe that adopting same-sex marriage would be likely to improve the well-being of gay and lesbian households and their children.

The strangest thing of all is that polygamy isn’t really, uh, you know

Blankenhorn explains that polygamy is really a “one man, one woman” marriage during cross-examination by Boies: Even in instances of a man engaging in polygamous marriage, each marriage is separate. He—one man marries one woman. That’s the way it works. … Each marriage is a separate marriage of one man and one woman.