Marijuanathon

Are there any types of weed that don’t give you cottonmouth?

—@MrsBrownGravy (via Twitter)

Excellent question. Here is the short answer: NOPE. Unfortunately, cottonmouth is dang near unavoidable. Even if you only use edibles, cottonmouth will still get you. Cottonmouth doesn't happen because the smoke dries out your mouth. Cottonmouth happens when the cannabinoid known as anandamide binds to the cannabinoid receptors in your salivary glands, causing them to slow down. Once they slow down, your mouth gets hella dry. However, cottonmouth is a small price to pay for the gloriousness that is being high, and you can alleviate the problem by drinking water. Water is better for cottonmouth than sugary drinks or anything with a bunch of tannins, like wine or beer or coffee. It's like weed wants you to make good choices. Sugar-free gum or a nice hard candy could also work. I also like Tootsie Rolls or Starburst candies. Even though they are full of sugar, they can really get the mouth juices flowing. That last sentence sounded kinda dirty. Oh well. Have fun.

How old can weed get before it turns into “sleepy” CBD? I see harvest dates from September in some shops.

—Mark O’Leptic

High Mark! It isn't the CBD that makes you sleepy. It's the CBN. This is how it works. If dried cannabis buds are exposed to air for a longish amount of time, the THC converts to CBN. And while THC gets you high, CBN will knock you out. So ditch that Ambien and grab some old weed. I kid. However, converting THC into CBN can be avoided by storing your cannabis in an airtight container and keeping it somewhere cool and dark. There is nothing wrong with smoking cannabis from September, as long as it was stored in a proper manner. Most clubs do a great job of keeping their flowers in tip-top condition. By the way, studies are showing that CBN doesn't just make you sleepy, it also has a bunch of other good qualities, and may be a very effective antibacterial agent. Stay Woke.

What’s the most that you’ve ever smoked in one day, and how did it make you feel the next?

—Leather Lungs Johnson

Um, I don't remember? I mean I don't really keep track like that, but there have been some weekends at the Seattle Hempfest or while being a judge for the Emerald Cup where I have smoked weed from dang near sunup to well after sundown. So, making a rough estimate, I would say that the most I have ever smoked in a day is maybe a quarter ounce. That would be about 114 one-gram joints. In one day. That's a lot and I can't recommend it to non-professionals, but sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do. Pot doesn't really give you a “hangover” in the same way that alcohol does, but I was definitely hella sluggish the next morning. Thank the gods for inventing coffee. Enjoy weed in moderation.