Holiday mass murder

The Grouch and his buddy Eligh.

The Grouch and his buddy Eligh.

Catch the How the Grouch Stole Christmas tour, featuring the Grouch and Eligh, DJ Fresh, the Bayliens, Paul Dateh, J Ross-Parrelli, Random Abiladeze and DJ Oasis on Saturday, December 13, from 5 p.m. to 10 p.m. $15 presale at Dimple Records and UnitedState or online at www.groovetickets.com. Empire, 1417 R Street.

Here’s a little-known fact: Eligh has yet to come up with a whack verse. It’s true, check it. Grouch might have, but that’s because he rhymes slower and his words are easier to pick apart. Anyway, those two Living Legends always kill their shows. At The Press Club 10 years ago, they packed that place and had everyone sweating out their weed and Pabst within five minutes of stepping on stage. More recently, at the Colonial Theatre, they made those archaic walls crumble like they were crafted from sand. And at bigger venues like Empire on December 13, they’ll turn that bro barn into an intimate little nightclub. Plus, I’m really excited to see Random Abiladeze open up. And, J. Ross-Parrelli, who I caught a couple weeks ago at The Distillery, is a refreshing voice. (With their skill and enthusiasm, those two are quickly growing out of their small-time status.) At Capitol Garage last week I even overheard DJ Nocturnal say this about Random Abiladeze: “He’s one of the few that will make it out of here.” I think he was talking about success, but in retrospect, that kind of sounds like the last words of a serial killer. Hope everyone’s all right.