Joe Somebody

Rated 1.0 A working schlemiel in a big corporation (Tim Allen) is beaten up in front of his adoring daughter (Hayden Panettiere), so he goes to a washed-up martial arts movie star (Jim Belushi) to learn to fight back. What planet does this movie take place on? The script is credited to one John Scott Shepherd, but it feels like the work of a committee of 200, none of whom knew what the others were doing; scenes follow without logic, like random words on a magnetic bulletin board. Director John Pasquin (Allen’s on-set buddy from Home Improvement) shows no more gift for staging jokes than Shepherd shows for writing them, and the cast (Julie Bowen, Kelly Lynch, Patrick Warburton, Greg Germann) contends gamely (but in vain) against the deluge of cliches and banalities gushing like a hemorrhage from the script.