Take a bite out of picky eating

My 4-year-old daughter’s favorite meal is rigatoni with chicken and olives.

We know we’re fortunate to have a daughter with a sophisticated palate. This meal is an Italian dish handed down from her great-grandmother and enjoyed at her grandfather’s home about once a month. We made it a point to introduce new, “adult” foods to her early and often, and though we don’t always win her over, she eats a remarkably wide array of foods, including fruits and vegetables.

But we know many parents aren’t so lucky.

“I have the worst picky eater,” says Fayth Ross, a frustrated mom of three. “We’ve tried everything. He’s 9. I’ve tried hidden veggies. I’ve tried two bites. I’ve tried only making him eat what the adults eat. He can make himself vomit. It’s insane.”

Ross says that her son has refused food for arbitrary reasons—the pizza at school is square, for instance.

“I have a 5-year-old and a 1-year-old who seriously eat—and love—everything. I don’t know what I did wrong with my first.”

Chances are, nothing. PBS Parents points out, “Children are naturally ’neophobic,’ which means they have an innate fear of trying anything new or foreign, and this includes food. It is normal for children between the ages of 2 and 5 years to resist eating new foods, and may have about four to five favorite foods that they readily accept.”

Numerous studies into selective eating have come with multiple reasons, ranging from genetics—if you’re a picky eater, your kids likely will be, too—to breast-feeding—breast milk is the “bridge” to developing a taste for what Mom eats—to a modern-day problem we all face: lack of time to eat together as a family.

For Meagan Sabich’s 15-month-old daughter Sophia, the problem turned out to be a sensory processing disorder.

“Sensory processing is how we interpret inputs from our senses and how our bodies turn those inputs into appropriate motor and behavioral responses,” explains Sabich, who has become a sort of expert since Sophia’s diagnosis several months ago. “We’ve noticed SPD affects her behavior, her sleeping patterns and her nutrition. … This is where the picky eating comes into play. If she doesn’t like the way it feels in her hands, it certainly will not go in her mouth.”

The experience is frustrating at the Sabich home, especially when foods Sophia has previously found acceptable, such as eggs, are suddenly rejected.

“Having SPD means you won’t always respond to input in consistent ways,” Sabich says.

It’s possible, of course, that parents of picky eaters are feeding the problem and simply aren’t being patient enough.

“Studies show it takes at least 10 times introducing a food to make it go from ’yuck’ to ’yum,’” says Gina Gilbert-Green, a nutrition consultant, fitness trainer with Anatomie in Reno and mother of three.

Many parents who have offered certain foods once or twice and gotten unfavorable responses from their kids simply throw up their hands and give up. But persistence is key.

Parents may also perpetuate the problem by operating out of fear of starvation. “They won’t let themselves starve to death. They’ll eat as much as they need to eat,” says Gilbert-Green.

Lynnette Bellin, a working Reno mom of two and children’s book author, says her kids, ages 7 and 4, don’t give her much trouble at the table. She attributes this to being “borderline obsessive about healthy eating,” dedicating considerable time to preparing healthy, unprocessed foods, and the “branding” in her home surrounding those foods.

“If my 4-year-old won’t eat spinach, we say, ’Well, that’s how you get superhero powers.’ It’s about setting an example. … They see me eating loads of veggies and going back for seconds.”

Gilbert-Green seconds this approach. Parents are the top influencer when it comes to nutrition. For instance, if Dad wrinkles his nose over a vegetable, that communicates to them that it’s undesirable, and it affects their choice to eat it.

Get kids involved. “The more kids get to help choose healthy foods, add suggestions to the family grocery list, play with pots and pans, handle different fruits and veggies, or help chop, wash and create meals in their own kitchen, the more they will gravitate toward healthy eating patterns,” Gilbert-Green says.

Play with ingredients. Choose favorite recipes and change ingredients to include healthier options. An example is Fool’s Gold Chicken Nuggets recommended by Gilbert-Green from the book Eat Like a Dinosaur, which are made with almond flour and baked rather than fried. Lynnette Bellin has yet to make a smoothie (full of goodies like kale and avocado) that her kids don’t like. And a study documented this summer in Science Daily found that “children were three times more likely to refuse eating a vegetable alone than they were to eat the same vegetable when paired with a reduced-fat flavored dip.”

Insist that they try it. They may not have to eat everything, but they should have to try everything. “We have a two-bite rule,” says Bellin. “You have to take two bites before turning it down.”

You get what you get, and don't throw a fit. Making separate kids’ meals is a mistake. “Prepare the same meal for your whole family,” says Gilbert-Green, adding that to support her daughter, who is sensitive to gluten, she runs a gluten-free household. “No special options unless there are food allergies or restrictions.”

Create a ritual of family dinners. The University of Florida Extension reports that families who make a habit of eating dinners together increase their intake of fruits and vegetables, eat fewer fried foods and drink less soda, and take in more protein, calcium and vitamins.

Cut the stress. The more anxiety you have about mealtimes, the more kids feel stressed about eating, which perpetuates the cycle. Gently continue to reintroduce healthy foods, but don’t force feed, and don’t bring stress to the table. Take it slow, introducing one food at a time to slowly build on a child’s repertoire.