So much for exonerated

Now, hold on. I said, hold on here for just a minute. WTF is Bill Barr doing having a press conference for the Mueller Report—without Bob Mueller? Isn’t that exactly like having a big presser for the new Stones World Tour, only … oops … hey, we forgot to invite Mick and Keith!

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When Trump opened his foul hole on March 24 and declared himself to be exonerated, 60 percent of us semi-sane Americans knew precisely what he was saying. Oh, Mike Cohen was right. Trump indeed talks in code. But, after two years of Agent Orange’s constant rambling bullshit, we now know how to instantly decipher his jive and pick up the real message. So when Dum Dum began blathering up a storm about his “complete exoneration,” us 60 percenters knew right then that (1) it was the end of his presidency, and (2) he’s fucked. (And how very thoughtful of Don Don to confirm these notions directly!)

So now we can see, and see very clearly—the Mueller Report is to Donald F. Trump’s “exoneration” what a six-pack of chocolate eclairs is to your new paleo keto diet. In fact, the reaction to Mueller’s masterpiece seems quite similar to what happened this past November. It took a while, but after a couple of weeks, anybody who didn’t have his head stuffed up his personal methane dispenser could see that an actual Blue Wave did indeed take place. The exact same mechanism is functioning here. Trump was “exonerated” in much the same way that the Republicans had a super successful election in 2018.

We can now also see that Bill Barr is doing a pretty good job as Trump’s Roy Cohn, because what Barr is all about is obfuscation. He’s a pro’s pro when it comes to “muddying the water,” and that, make no mistake, is why he got the gig. He told Trump as much in his job application term paper last summer. All his bullshit about “transparency.” Puh-leez. His main gig is to confuse, muddle, send mixed messages, and provide red meat for Fux News. He knows full well how to play the modern game in the court of public opinion—that with a savvy combo of lawyers and media, complemented by slow, stodgy, Kavanated Kourts, delay after delay can be brought into play in order to insure that Individual 1 finishes his bizarre and absurd term of office. And it just may work.

But it looks like there’s still an awful lot of justifiable hassling about to happen with Putin’s favorite bitch boy. Popcorn reload!