This newspaper now made of 100% recycled marijuana!

The Weekly World News & Review is pleased to announce that this newspaper is now printed on rolling papers and that we’ve partnered with fictional local cannabis grower Bäkd to develop special inks that are laced with cannabis oil. That’s right! Smoking this newspaper will now get you hella high!

And here’s what’s more: We understand that it’s a consumer’s market, so we’ve developed different blends for different colors. We use a four-color “CMYK” printing process. Feeling like getting a little wild? Choose pages with a lot of magenta (M) or black (K), because those inks contain Newsbud, a sativa-dominant blend. Feeling more like you need to mellow out? Opt for a page with more cyan (C) or yellow (Y), because those inks contain Reviewweed, an indica-dominant blend.

Sure, you can find new stories and local arts coverage online, but can those online outlets offer this? No way.

In a related announcement, the Weekly World News & Review is changing its slogan. “Think free!” has grown a little stale in the internet age because everyone expects everything to be free nowadays. Our new slogan: “Read it! Roll it! Smoke it!”