The box score, so far

It’s been the common opinion for some time now that Saturday Night Live, while OK, just isn’t the same show it used to be “back in the day.”

Hogwash, poppycock and balderdash. I’ve been watching regularly the last few years, and while none of the players are stars along the lines of Belushi, Murray, Murphy, Farley and the like—although Kate McKinnon is gettin’ there—the truth is the writing is both consistent and funny. Every week, there are a few good sketches that bring real laughs, proving once again that life in Trumpistan has provided career-boosting energy to Colbert, Kimmel, Conan, Maher, SNL, Daily Show, CNN, MSNBC, and on and on and on. No doubt about it, President Capone is comedy gold in a mind-boggling, expletive-sputtering, hair-pulling, teeth-gnashing way.

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Just in case you’re keeping score out there in Rest Area, Missouri—I’m stealing that crack from last week’s SNL—here’s an update from The Big Board of Collusion, Corruption, More Corruption, Still More Corruption, and A Truly Breathtaking Amount of Corruption.

Hillary Clinton Benghazi Witch Hunt, in which Trey Gowdy and other Republican mouth-breathers posing as congressmembers went after her with every speck of bullshit they could scrape out of the corral. Length of investigations—four years. Four effing years. Investigations—eight. Indictments—zero. Convictions—zero. As in Nada Zilch Zippo.

Hillary Clinton Email Witch Hunt. Length of investigation—2 years. Indictments—zero. Again with the Nada Zilch and Zippo.

Obama Administration. Number of indicted employees—zero. Once more, NZZ. Gee, how absolutely—boring! What a bunch of goody two-shoes! Conscientious people who didn’t get arrested. With the swearing in of Twitler, that would all change.

Trump Russian Witch Hunt, still ongoing in its 20th month. Indictments (individuals)—38 (and counting). Indicments (companies)—3. Guilty pleas—8 (and counting), including Michael Flynn, Mike Cohen, George Low Level Coffee Boy, Richard Pinedo, Alex van der Zwaan, Rick Gates, Mata Hari Butina, and Sam Patten. Convictions—1. Manafort. Russians who will be convicted if they ever set foot on U.S. soil—24 (and counting). Criminal charges—at least 190.

Is Mueller finished? Yeah, right. Dum Dum is to corruption what eggs are to breakfast. So far, this has all been slow, carefully orchestrated foreplay. The money shots are coming. Crash helmet strapped down?