Terrorism is banal and other observations

Ten points that haven’t been made much of in the millions of column inches and sound bytes:

Terrorism is banal.

Ever considered that terrorists are incapable of producing anything creative or constructive? You won’t find them—or the societies they spring from—generating anything in the way of fresh art, entertainment, athletics, technology or the quest for bold horizons.

Austin Powers? Sopranos? Tiger Woods, Sarah Hughes? Britney Spears? Ben & Jerry’s? Viagra? Snowboards that respond to rapid weight changes and remain as stable on the ground as in the air? Complete Idiot’s guides to being a vegetarian or teen model? Software that eliminates those annoying popup windows?

Let’s include future astronauts in Generation Z—expecting to land on Mars in their lifetime.

Life. Liberty. Happiness. Giant leaps for humankind.

All terrorists and their supporters have is a culture of hate. Thousands in the streets chanting “Death to America” and burning flags—or whatever materials they can scrounge together to resemble flags.

That’s entertainment.

Al Qaeda’s grand vision is boring.

Militant Islamists’ conception of a better world means submission to the radical interpretation of one religion … and that’s burqas or headscarves for all you women; no voting, “vices” or much in the way of personal liberties and the right to choose; no free enterprise as we know it. Just one big Saudi Arabia—except instead of a venal royal family, there’s a repressive religious hierarchy, à la Iran … or name-a-European-monarchy of the 17th or 18th century, from which your ancestors may have fled to the New World.

Imagine what New Year’s Eve would be like in such a place.

Even a goodhearted “infidel” has a better grasp of true Islam than the Qaeda-type terrorists.

The prophet Mohammed, who lived and died in the seventh century A.D., was said to be a humble trader of a kind and generous nature. He preached respect for other monotheistic religions. His followers were to fight only in self-defense. They were to practice “jihad,” a practical struggle, to create “umma,” a perfect community.

See how far the terrorists have strayed from these humanistic ideals? They interpret Islam like Charles Manson interpreted the Beatles.

The terrorists, lacking original brainpower, want to turn the clock back 1,400 years.

After Mohammed’s death, the caliphs of the Arab tribes he’d united had a more aggressive interpretation of “jihad.” Through conquest and conversion they created a crescent-shaped empire from Asia Minor through North Africa and the Iberian Peninsula. They were after one God, one state. The leaders of the Christian world—the other side of the same coin—felt threatened. Therefore the bloody Crusades and continued conflict and competition that eventually led to the search by Europeans for new trade routes to the Far East … and the discovery of the Americas.

And here we are. But ancient hatreds don’t die. Especially in backward tribal cultures, in which there are “in” groups and “out” groups. True believers—and infidels upon which holy war must be waged.

To establish one God, one world. Not at the Last Judgment. Now.

(And here you’ve been worrying about the stock market’s effect on your kids’ college funds, or whether the major-league baseball players were going to strike.)

Fifteen of the 19 Sept. 11 hijackers were from oil-rich Saudi Arabia. Why?

Economic frustration is a powerful force fostering a desperate cause to topple a regime whose ruling class brutally represses the rest of the population and to destroy that regime’s supporters.

Sexual frustration also fosters nasty things.

Sept. 11 and its aftermath remind how much some Americans are capable of sacrificing during a national emergency—and how little others are.

President Kennedy, in his “…ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country” speech, also said, “Since this country was founded, each generation of Americans has been summoned to give testimony to its national loyalty. The graves of young Americans who answered the call to service surround the globe.”

Think of the New York firefighters walking single file toward the demolished Tower Two and the not-yet-tumbled Tower One. Three hundred and forty-three perish. Or think of the passengers of United Flight 93, having heard over cell phones that hijackers crashed three airliners, heading toward the cockpit armed with dishes, pots of boiling water and a food cart to ram the door. The plane—instead of reaching the capital—crashes in a Pennsylvania field, killing all 44 aboard.

Most of the rest of us have had to do very little. Give blood. Donate to funds for bombing victims and their families. Endure airport security checks. Undergoing extra scrutiny—even being bounced from flights (and placed on later ones)—was a reality for some citizens and residents of Middle Eastern or Asian descent in 9-11’s jittery aftermath. They are, of course, suing the airlines.

Saudi Arabian nationals studying in the United States at the time of the attacks also plan to sue the U.S. government, claiming harassment by law-enforcement officers during the intensive hunt for hijacking perpetrators.

The cheapest intellectual stance is having one’s cake and eating it, too.

During Operation Desert Shield, a gaggle of demonstrators assembled outside the Federal Building in Reno to protest Western hegemony. Then, having shown they occupied the moral high ground, they drove off in their clunker cars fueled by foreign oil.

Peace protesters and perennial contrarians—whose freedom of speech is safeguarded by American military might—have decried our defense and security forces’ efforts to neutralize the terrorist infrastructure.

All the marches, candlelight vigils and campus forums won’t dissuade terrorists from pursuing their objectives. We are only between terrorist attacks. Perhaps after the next one, we should dispatch our peace activists to lobby the other side.

Bon voyage!

What was all that flag-waving about?

Part of it was reclaiming a feeling of home that began to erode more than two decades back.

During the Iranian hostage crisis of 1979, pro-Khomenei Iranian students and activists protested on American streets.

After our embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed in 1998, killing more than 200 and wounding more than 5,000 people (mostly Africans), President Clinton ordered cruise missiles to pound suspected terrorist compounds in Afghanistan and a pharmaceutical factory in Khartoum, Sudan, believed to manufacture chemicals to make nerve gas. Afghan refugees demonstrated in the Bay Area against the attack on their former homeland. One motorist left his car and confronted them. Another man left his car and spat in the face of the first motorist.

The al Qaeda network and its friends have taken root here. Journalist Steven Emerson has chronicled front groups raising money and recruiting anti-American Islamists within our borders, sometimes not just in mosques, but in conferences open to the public. Critics have labeled Emerson a Muslim-basher. He’s been wrong—pointing a finger at Muslim extremists after the Oklahoma City bombing. But much could be right in Emerson’s best-selling exposé American Jihad: The Terrorists Living Among Us.

The Arab-Israeli conflict remains big business, the opiate of the Arab world and a side issue for terrorists.

Is anyone else sick of this tiresome issue? For every argument, there is a counter-argument, and counter-arguments to that, ad nauseam. This issue took on a life of its own years ago. It’s fostered careers in politics, academia and the media. It is a rallying cry for Islamists; a media bonanza; and a nice hobby for college students and church activists, having become addled with “Mideast Disease.”

There are around 7 million people who live in Israel, the West Bank and Gaza, but probably five times as many experts on Middle East policy.

The third-largest group of foreign media is based in this area of roughly 8,000 square miles (Washoe County’s size), set amid 5 million square miles of 22 Arab countries and their 144 million residents.

The Arab-Israeli dispute has claimed 70,000 casualties in five decades. Meanwhile, internal violence in Algeria dating to an aborted election in 1992 has claimed perhaps 100,000 casualties. Libya’s invasion of Chad in the 1970s and ‘80s tallied a similar toll. Civil war and drought in Sudan have cost about 500,000 lives and an equal number of wounded.

These places, however, don’t make for as interesting headlines as some place with a Biblical name or with 20 foreign news crews comfortably set up. You won’t find any college courses on them. Or United Nations debates. Or endless letters to the editor. Or bimonthly Newsweek or Time cover stories. Or angry mobs chanting, “No justice, no peace!”

Q: What do you call a terrorist with a wooden leg?

A: Sh*t on a stick. (Hey—sometimes laughter’s the best medicine.)