Scoring the candidates

Here’s what we thought of the Democratic candidates during the first Democratic debate(s).

Michael Bennet: Who? 1/10

Joe Biden: Being the frontrunner puts a big target on your back. Considering that he was under constant fire, he did fine. Probably didn’t win anybody over, but only really embarrassed himself once. (“My time is up.”) 5/10

Cory Booker: He succeeded in adding another “Booker’s face when” meme to the books when Beto O’Rourke beat him to the speaking-platitudes-in-Spanish punch. 4/10

Pete Buttigieg: Fun fact: Did you know that South Bend, Indiana, is smaller than Reno? But, holy cow, if he isn’t the best public speaker since Barack Obama. 10/10

Julian Castro: He did better than everyone expected him to—especially Beto O’Rourke. 8/10

Bill de Blasio: Give him a break. He has to be Trump’s hometown mayor. 4/10

John Delaney: The Democratic candidate pool is so diverse it evens includes a Republican! Talk about inclusivity. 3/10

Tulsi Gabbard: Low in public perception, she’s still driving foreign policy discussions. 6/10

Kirsten Gillibrand: Voted against President Trump’s agenda perhaps more than any other senator, but does anyone remember that before moving up from the House, she had an A-rating from the National Rife Association? 4/10

Kamala Harris: OK, she clearly won the food fight. Some, like our good friend Trevor Noah (see page 14), thought the way she took on Biden seemed authentic. We thought it was shrewd and calculated. Either way, it was a master class in debate skills. 10/10

John Hickenlooper: Kept saying he’s a scientist, but somehow failed to mention he’s also a brewer. Too bad, because it’s frankly the second most appealing thing about him, after his eventual embrace of legal marijuana. 3/10

Jay Inslee: He sued Trump over the Muslim travel order. What’s not to like? 5/10

Amy Klobuchar: Successfully running anonymously. 1/10

Beto O’Rourke: It’s time to stop relying on his good showing in 2018. That was the last war. 4/10

Tim Ryan: We think he’s really just trying to attract attention as a possible VP candidate. “Hi, I’m a boring do-no-harm white guy, but I can deliver Ohio!” 2/10

Bernie Sanders: In many ways, the 2020 Democratic race is a sequel to Sanders’ 2016 campaign. Many of the issues in this campaign grew out of his 2016 effort. 9/10

Eric Swalwell: We’re suspicious of anyone who talks a lot about their “generation.” How can you represent all of us if you only seem to care about people who are the exact same age as you? 1/10

Elizabeth Warren: Ferociously smart, and she has the clearest, most refined policy ideas. 10/10

Marianne Williamson: We’re all for radical thinking, but for whatever reason, this whole anti-planning stance makes us a bit nervous. Also: It’s possible that we misunderstood her since our Olde Hippie is a bit rusty, but did she say her top priority, if elected, would be calling the president of New Zealand to talk trash? 1/10

Andrew Yang: His most memorable thing: He did not wear a tie. And apparently he thinks he can bribe everyone to vote for him with a measly thousand bucks. 0/10