Nymphomaniac: Vol. II

As much as I hated Lars Von Trier's Nymphomaniac: Vol. 1, I hoped that Vol. II, released nearly in conjunction with the first film, might improve upon the first part and allow the whole mess to make sense. Nope. This one picks up where the first film left off, and it's actually more tedious than the previous chapter. Joe (Charlotte Gainsbourg) continues telling her story to the man who found her bloody in an alley (Stellan Skarsgard), a sordid tale about her crazy sex life and criminal activity. The whole story basically leads up to why Joe wound up in the gutter. Along the way, we discover that she had a baby, and become a debt collector for a crime boss (Willem Dafoe) using S&M techniques instead of breaking arms. It is all so …i incredibly … lame. Both films played out like big, long, unfunny jokes told by a jerk with a lousy sense of humor. The punch line is both crass and uninspired. Seriously, I want von Trier to retreat from provocation in his next venture, and perhaps make a film about puppies and ice cream. (Available for rent on VOD, iTunes and Amazon.com during a limited theatrical release.)