Battleship

Battleship: Based on the board game by Hasbro—always a harbinger of great film—this one throws aliens into the mix so as to not have a film with two fat guys sitting at a table playing Battleship while drinking milkshakes. Seriously, when I heard they were making a movie based on the Battleship board game, two fat guys drinking milk shakes and crying “You sunk my battleship!” was all I figured they might come up with. It’s not a board game that screams “super narrative!” Peter Berg directs the likes of Taylor Kitsch—in his second domestic box office dud following John Carter—Liam Neeson and Alexander Skarsgard in this Transformers wannabe that just sits in the ocean and doesn’t go anywhere. Sub-par special effects and stupid-looking humanoid aliens with porcupine beards don’t help matters much.